I know right, so simple. We are taught this early on, “share your toys” with friends, “share snacks at lunchtime” (pre-COVID of course, don’t do that now), “what’s mine is yours”, “its better to give then to receive” (I am not sure I totally buy – no pun intended – that one). One of things I have found to be my greatest superpower is the power of vulnerability. To share what is going on for me, to share what I am feeling, what I am or have struggled with, what I am scared of, what my hopes and dreams are. I’m inspired to keep doing so when so many people say ‘oh gosh, I am so glad you said that, I was feeling the same way’, and either they couldn’t articulate it, were to afraid to say it aloud, or it was deeper down there and they weren’t ready to ‘go there’. That’s a pretty powerful gift to open the door so people know they are alone, they aren’t a leper in how they are feeling or thinking.

Part of coaching is sharing; sharing my experiences, my thoughts or feelings on a topic. But more so it is creating a safe space for others to share without judgement. This is why I love what I do and why I believe coaching has a profound impact on people. No agenda needed, just meaningful connection on shared experiences (of course there usually is an agenda/goal). The current phrase I hear which resonates, ‘we are in the same storm, but we do not all have the same boat’. True. And when we articulate our experiences others feel connected. Empathy is how we make connections with others. To do this is to listen, relate, and share.

Everyone is talking about the crucial skill for leaders to be empathetic. Empathy is a skill which can be learned, a muscle to exercise. Now we can’t just walk around and say “empathy is important”, or mandate leaders ‘be empathetic’, we need to feel it to believe it. We need to experience empathy from others, especially those with power, to relate to us for it to be embedded in the culture. This is 2 parts listening from leaders, 1 part sharing. As leaders role modeling is hugely impactful. Sharing yourself is a brilliant way to create space for others to see that it is ok to be human, to be vulnerable. How are you sharing yourself with your teams? How are you getting comfortable sharing (and not oversharing, see other blog)? What feels comfortable to share, what doesn’t? And why? Like any new skill that you have not practiced, sharing yourself takes courage to step out of your comfort zone, to try it, and to make mistakes (too much, not enough, goldilocks), especially when the stakes feel high and we are all going through ‘stuff’. Take a step, not a leap. Start working that sharing muscle like we were taught in school.

Here is your Disney, kid-like moment of joy, a song on sharing from T.O.T.S. Sometimes It’s More Fun to Share. In case you missed the memo, I am also a mom to a young one. Happy Friday Eve!

Okay, that is a huge overstatement, but did I get your attention?? My husband is the science, data king. He may as well be ‘Bill Nye The Science Guy’ from my perspective. MBA, Statistician, if there is no data to support it, he doesn’t believe it. Soooo, we have a little bit of a conflict with my chosen field. In the past Organizational Development (OD), psychology, therapy, coaching, not a whole lot of scientific data to support the efficacy of these things. We try to make it scientific, but the studies are correlation not causation. Now, he has never doubted that I don’t help people or situations, of course he does, very supportive hubs, (or at least he fakes it well enough that my BS meter isn’t flashing). BUT he would be much more apt to tout the work I do if had some stats to stand behind. ENTER THE PREDICTIVE INDEX.

In my quest to find supporting data of how OD supports organizations, beyond the Likert scale of 1-10 “How do you ‘feel’ about xyz?”, which does not fly in the conversations with my hubby, I came upon The Predictive Index. Mind blown! Millions of data points to support who are the best folks to fit certain jobs, the best way to coach and manage individuals on you team without guessing or making assumptions about them, how to build an effective team align with your strategic direction… I’m not talking all the data to support why you should care about this stuff, i.e. the average cost of one bad hire for an individual contributor role costs $3,500, and for managers even more. They have all that too. But I am talking lining up job requirements with peoples preferences and their approach to work, in really understanding and building diverse teams, congruent with needed skills. All of these answers (and more) with years of data to back it up! My first thought, was “YES, I’ve hit the jackpot”. My second thought was “is this enough for my British, inborn skeptical husband?” I showed it to him. I waited. I let him review on his own (no sales pitch). IT WAS! He was impressed, and also to be frank (not Frank), he was relieved that there was finally something his wife was doing that had solid data to back up the recommendations and direction.

In closing of this tale… data wins when it comes to discussing business with the husband. P.S. If you want to create dream teams, make good hires, equip your managers to listen, manage, and coach better, let’s chat about The Predictive Index. What I have very briefly shared barely scratches the surface.

P.P.S. No need to send me scientific journals of psychology. Disclaimer, this blog is also for entertainment purposes as well as spurring thought and dialogue.