I was chatting with a brilliant friend the other day, extremely distinguished in her field of mental health and organizational psychology, and as we were laughing about our “life whoas”, we came up with the term “emotional vitamins”. What are the vitamins you take to maintain a healthy balance of your emotions? At times we are all going into the eye of the storm of places and people that test our emotions, and need to keep our immunity up. We take vitamins to keep the physical immunity up so we don’t catch a cold, but what do we take for our minds? Some swear by herbal supplements and oils, jolt of Vitamin D from the sun does a mind and body good. What do you do to keep your emotional immunity up?

For some, the benefits of exercise, sleep, healthy eating, meditation are great mind body equalizers. I know when I don’t work out my mind gets “wonky”, that’s the clinical term. I heard a NOVA special on marathon running years ago (like 15ish) and one thing that stuck with me was a psychiatrist saying that running just 8 minutes releases the same endorphins as taking a Prozac. This concept has helped me get up and go for a 1 mile run, when my physical body is not wanting to be a half marathon runner any longer. Today (literally today) it helped. I weaned off my anti anxiety medication about 8 months ago (in hindsight probably not the best timing with starting a new career, going through a life changing move, and the COVID home thing… but whatever). Staying physically active has been the game changer in helping me maintain stability. My Peloton is in storage so I had to talk myself back into running. It was hard… not just the physical aspect of it, but the part that I told myself if I wasn’t training for a half marathon, running at least 6 miles every time I went out, then it wasn’t worth it… Uh hello! That doesn’t make sense… so I reminded myself of that NOVA special and said “1 mile is better than 0”, and poof, game changing reframing.

Most of my therapists (and I’ve had 4 over the years) have encouraged me to journal. Get all that rumination out on paper. When you see it out there and re-read it, it demystifies everything going on in the head. I admit, I am inconsistent and have not successfully put a sustainable practice into action. BUT, it is why I LOVE this blog. I thank you for granting me the space and encouragement to share myself and get my thoughts out on ‘paper’. It has really helped me purge what I am pondering or struggling with by being able to write in what hopefully is a structured, authentic, positive, action oriented manner. My hope with this blog is 1) selfish, see above, but 2) whatever I write spurs thoughts and dialogue for those who read. Not to be right, or an expert, but to generate a discussion (internally or externally).

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. ~Henri Bergson

I am finding myself in many different environments, with many different personality types of people and thought I would share my list of seven characteristics I find make a psychological safe space.

1. Thought sharing. The ability to speak your mind real time. To process out loud with others (a necessary function for extraverts) without concern about what the other party will say or do.
2. No judgement zone. The removal of fear that what you say or the choices you make will be met with ridicule based on someone else’s values.
3. Positivity. An outlook on life that there is more good in this world than bad, and an belief that people are coming into conversations with positive intention to support others.
4. Predictability. You can rest comfortably knowing that people show up consistently and you won’t meet Jekyll or Hyde depending on the weather pattern.
5. Gratitude. An overall appreciation for what is right in the world. For how lovely coffee tastes, how beautiful roses smell, how bright and warm the sun is.
6. Silence. The ability to sit in silence and not have to engage in dialogue.
7. Self-Reflection. The recognition that people are putting energy into their own personal development and identifying the part they play in communication and relationships.

What else would you add that makes it feel like a safe space for you? What do you value?

As I have shared a few times before, I struggle with anxiety and spend a lot of time in my head (one of the many reasons I love writing this blog). I try to be aware of when ‘psychological bravery’ is needed on my part. Not all environments are psychologically safe. So what do you do when you are expected to speak up but the environment isn’t ripe for it? You get brave! You weigh the importance, you weigh your values, you decide what you need. And sometimes that means taking a risk. Psychological bravery is about having confidence, having the psychological safe environment within yourself to be able to find your voice and take the leap regardless of how it is met. Being psychologically brave in an unsafe environment is scary, especially when you feel you have something to lose, like a job, a relationship, a status. Mostly the need to speak up is the disconnect between what you value internally vs. externally which gives you the confidence to be psychologically brave and engage.

I am more of flight than fight kinda person, which makes knowing when to find my brave shoes (or flip flops this summer) extra challenging. I usually tell myself it is easier not to engage as I usually don’t see the point. But is that the healthiest, maybe not… Does it help the future environment, maybe not. This is why therapists and coaches get paid… to help cultivate an environment methodically, instead of a rip the Band-Aid approach. I ask my clients what is the smallest thing you can do that will have the biggest impact (a very common coaching question). So what is the smallest you can do to find your psychological bravery when your values are telling you it is needed?

“The greatest measure of self awareness is when another persons behaviors do not impact your inner peace.” ~Unknown